The Divine Physician
Learning to Trust His Skilled Hands, Even When The Monitors Start Beeping
Does God Actually Want to Heal Me?
For the longest time, I always wondered “Does God really want to heal people or does He just want to make them suffer? Kinda seems like it depends which day you catch Him on.”
Yes, Yes….we all know the gospel stories:
“And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom: and healing all manner of sickness and every infirmity, among the people. And his fame went throughout all Syria, and they presented to him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and such as were possessed by devils, and lunatics, and those that had palsy, and he cured them.” Matthew 4:23-24
Ok, He is a healer, perfect. But wait a minute….Isn’t Jesus God? Didn’t God like kill all the first-born children of the Egyptians and send a bunch of locusts and stuff? Doesn’t seem very “healing”:
“I sent death upon you in the way of Egypt, I slew your young men with the sword, even to the captivity of your horses: and I made the stench of your camp to come up into your nostrils: yet you returned not to me, saith the Lord.”
- Amos 4:10
Ok, I get it….so God will punish us, in hopes that we will turn from our evils and come back to Him? Seems like we could have used another strategy but I guess that makes sense. But then how do you explain what he said to St. Gemma Galgani? This lady was a saint, why does He force all this bad stuff on her?
“I have sent this cross to you, you do not appreciate it; rather it is contrary to your desire, but the more it is contrary, the more it is like Mine……. if I lead you on paths hard and painful; if I permit that you be tormented by the demon, that the world despise you, that persons most dear to you afflict you, and with daily martyrdom, I permit your soul to be purified and tested. And you, daughter, think only of practicing great virtue; run in the path of the Divine Will, humbled, assured, that if I hold you to the cross, I love you."
- Jesus to Saint Gemma Galgani1
Nailing me to a cross doesn’t seem like it will heal me…or will it? I was hoping to just sort of be zapped with grace and then….viola, no more suffering.
Making Sense of All The Contradictions
What you can be 100% sure of is that God is always, always, always trying to heal us….but as He says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts: nor your ways my ways, saith the Lord”- Isaiah 55:8
As we discussed in You Have OCD Because God Loves You, God has a lot of plates He has to keep spinning. He sees everyone’s temporal and eternal needs, what’s in our past and future, our sins, wounds, traumas, particular dispositions, blockages we have to receiving His grace, laziness and immortifications, etc.
On top of that, He needs to balance His Mercy and Justice appropriately while respecting our free wills, supplying all the needs for both our bodies and souls, and overseeing all the good or bad that would be brought about by every possible scenario He allows to unfold.
And we thought Amazon did a good job managing complicated supply chains!
Out of all of this, you can bet your bottom dollar that He is always choosing the most perfect and appropriate way to bring about the greatest amount of good in your life…..The problem is though, what God considers good and what we consider good are not always the same thing.
An Increase in Pain is a Sign of Healing
I hate pain, suffering, fasting, mortification, and all that stuff…..and that is exactly why I’m not in charge.
“For he woundeth, and cureth: he striketh, and his hands shall heal.”- Job 5:18
From Fr William Doyle’s pamphlet “Scruples and Their Treatment”:
“The first effect of a serious operation is an increase of pain and discomfort. Now, the treatment of scrupulosity is equivalent to a series of painful amputations. It lops off one by one those foolish safeguards with which the scrupulous soul had surrounded itself, and which had become a kind of second nature to it. Small wonder, therefore, that pain and distress should result. Yet this suffering which is experienced is the very best sign that the evil malady is being removed and that a cure is being effected. Consequently, instead of losing courage, the penitent should only redouble both efforts and confidence, assured that the treatment is producing lasting effects, effects foreseen and foretold by those who understand the spiritual life.”2
For an entire population of people who have never created or cured a soul of anything, we sure are quick to criticize the way God does things. “No, no, no Jesus not like that…let me show you how it’s done. You’re being too mean.”
God brings about pain as He is removing the blockages to the only thing capable of healing anyone….His grace.
“Expect Me, then, to speak to you, to console you, and to enlighten you, but also to wound you. Unless I wound you in this way, you will be incapable of withstanding the attacks of the enemy and of bearing witness to Me in the midst of darkness and tribulation.
In the spiritual battle that is coming, only those wounded by Me will emerge victorious.”- Jesus to a Benedictine Monk3
Our wounds are the places we are weakest and Jesus is bringing them to our attention so that He can help us address them. Unfortunately, this process is very painful and we would much rather pretend they didn’t exist. We are really prone to just ignoring our issues until they are just too painful to not deal with anymore….which is why Jesus, in His Mercy, allows us to undergo these pains while we still have the time and ability to heal them.
His Methods are Painful and Confusing. Why We Should Still Trust Him
It is tempting to view ourselves like Job, a spotless servant who was only having his patience tested. Let’s assume that you are right (I highly doubt it), you are a perfectly innocent person, suffering a fate that you don’t “deserve”. What good would complaining and feeling sorry for yourself do? Even though this was in fact the case for Job (and almost certainly is not for you or I)- what good did it serve him? When Job complained to God about how bad he had it, did God say “oh yes you’re right I forgot how mean I was being, here’s a cookie”? No he said:
“Who is this that wrappeth up sentences in unskillful words? Gird up thy loins like a man: I will ask thee, and answer thou me. Where wast thou when I laid up the foundations of the earth? Tell me if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? Or who hath stretched the line upon it?”- Job 38: 2-5
In other words: What do you and I know about the mind of God and the purposes of His ways? Remember, God is in control and desires our good. He has determined that this suffering is necessary and beneficial for us. We can either try to suffer well or choose to suffer poorly (and believe me I choose the latter PLEEENTY). It may not seem fair but God has His plans. Time to man or woman up and quit playing the victim card.
Now, with that said….I am the founder, president, and lifetime member of the “Woe is me” club. However, I am a liiiitttttlle bit better than I used to be so if you struggle with this…don’t get discouraged, hang in there.
Why Does He Do This Though? Isn’t He God, Can’t He just like snap His Fingers and Make This Go Away
Why does God do this to us? I mean imagine if your 3-year-old ran up to you after breakfast, crying and hungry saying “Daddy why no more cereal!?” and you responded with “Who is this that wrappeth up sentences in unskillful words? Gird up thy loins like a man.” (this is some seriously great dad joke material btw).
Doesn’t seem very fatherly.
Here’s the thing though, as we discussed in Evolution and Your Mental Health, you were created in the image and likeness of God for a purpose …and that purpose is to become like Christ.
What is one of the main attributes of Christ that differentiates Him from most of us? He returns good when He receives evil.
Not that God is literally performing a moral evil to you when you suffer (that is impossible) but that, in his permissive providence, He is allowing secondary causes to align in such a manner that give you the opportunity to absorb the suffering sent your way and return good in it’s place…..so that you can grow in virtue, save souls, and he can reward you eternally.
“The Lord hath need of his service”
“Today the Lord said to me, I have need of your suffering to rescue souls”- St. Faustina
I’ve told God before that basically “I’m good with the amount of virtues that I have, thanks. You can take your suffering elsewhere.” He loves me too much to listen.
As we discussed in You Have OCD Because God Loves You, God is always sending us love….no matter what. The form of that love is His to determine though.
“I have immense treasures of grace for all: and whoever comes to Me shall be overwhelmed with them… I love men so much! … I love poor sinners so much! … Write, My Benigna, that all may know this: It is certain that a hundred sins offend Me more than one alone; but if this single sin is distrust of Me, it wounds My Heart more than the hundred others, because distrust wounds My Heart to Its innermost core.”- Jesus to Sr. Benigna Consolata4
Again, the purpose of our life is to become like Christ and the main purpose of His life was to save souls.
Our wills are basically the only thing in the universe that can allow the grace of God to enter into time and space. They are like portals from the eternal dimension that bring either good or evil into the world. The problem is that most of us have those portals set to “Do not disturb”. Imma do me, you do you. God is literally dying for a handful of souls to open those wills up to allow his grace to flow into the world.
So this is why Jesus sends us suffering….He Hath need of it. He hath need of it to heal us, to save us, to convert us, and to bring about his plans. I don’t know what they are exactly, I definitely wouldn’t have drawn it up this way, but He will bring good out of it, if we let him.
So again, don’t worry too much about all the suffering that you have wasted in the past. Rise again today and offer it all to God: Surrender. The master hath need of it.
St Gemma Galgani: Jesus teaches St Gemma the value of suffering
https://williedoyle.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/scruples-and-their-treatment.pdf
“In Sinu Jesu When Heart Speaks to Heart: The Journal of a Priest at Prayer”- page 161
Mystics of the Church: Sister Benigna Consolata Ferrero